Shopping Therapy

What happens when shopping therapy goes away?
Well, maybe this is one of the reasons I am where I am.
When I am down, I go out shopping. I wander through a store
and imagine myself in some beautiful place, some tropical beach wearing
something gorgeous. Like a sarong, or a wrap over a bathing suit, with a luscious tan
and a large sunhat looking drop dead devastating. And imagining myself in
that wonderful place puts me in a place I'm not, or haven't been.
So shopping is a way of escaping my life, where I am, what I am, how things are.
The best thing about shopping is, you get what you want.
Or at least what you think you want. At that time, you want it.
And it transports you to a time, when you look gorgeous, and desirable and
happy.
So, imagining that I am somewhere that I'm not, and buying the outfit to go there, makes me happy.
Sadly, all my credit cards are no more. The bastards who gave me wonderful,lavish limits have taken all my fun away. I remember thinking at one time, omigosh, what am I going to do with one of my cards that has a $20,000. credit limit? Well, I didn't have near enough fun, I can tell you. I didn't travel anywhere on my wonderful credit lines. When my cash and my 401k went away, I lived off of my credit.
Being a realtor is hard work today, and the deals are hard to get, and the living ain't easy.
So, I wish I would have gone somewhere really fun and tropical on my cards.
But I didn't. I survived for a little while longer. Using my "
And I will find my smile again.
In the meantime I will keep on keeping on. And walking with my friends, and eating right. Go to work, show properties, and keep on staying on top of things.
I will enjoy the sunshine, if it's out. And the mystery of the fog.
The bark of a dog. The smile of a baby. My grandbaby Daisy, who puts a smile on my face, just by being herself.
I will live.
And try to get by.
And give thanks for my family. And my friends.
And books that I read, and songs that I sing, to myself.
I will try to find love again. Because I do think I deserve that.
No. I do deserve that. I don't "think" I do.
I do.
thanks for being there.
Good night my friends.
Katie